Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
