can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
