ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
