All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
