I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
