He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
