talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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