My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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