she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize