Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize