This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
