Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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