One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.