talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
