this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
