my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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