my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
