So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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