Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
