things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
