At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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