The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
