I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm too high and old for this...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
