my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
