1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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