hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
