you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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