Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
