u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize