giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
