you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
two words: eviction party
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
