And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
