So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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