hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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