Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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