fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
