once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
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Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize