a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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