I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
