just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize