I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
