So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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