i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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