I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
