he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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