It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
