i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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