the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
