her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
