Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
