The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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