I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
