have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
