How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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