saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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