you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
