O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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